Mobile phones for my kids
For his 10th birthday, my son had asked for a mobile phone of his own. I bought it for him.
Previously, the kids had shared a 2G (talk & text only) old people's flip phone, because I felt they weren't really going places on their own so it was enough for one of them to have it with them. But, this led to arguments as to who was allowed to carry it... so finally, I decided it was time.
N(11) will be 12 in September, and D has just turned 10, and now they each have their own, brand new Nokia 2G phone. These phones were cheap at about £20 each, they work for calling and texting, but crucially they have no camera or Internet connection. I even went so far as to buy them 'special' numbers that are easier to remember, because they can keep them for life now.
The case for a phone
As they grow, more and more activities don't include me and it's useful to have a way to contact me if needed - there's of course the argument that they could always ask an adult to make the call for them, but I don't see any harm in doing it themselves. In fact, I feel this gives them a sense of agency. I can also get in touch directly if needed.
All of N's friends locally have phones by now (smartphones, though) and she has been feeling very much the odd one out. A 2G phone gives her the ability to text individual friends: it does not offer group chats as in WhatsApp, and that is an important consideration because those chats are immature and often turn toxic at this age. There is no need for her to be involved in these. Being able to chat on the phone or text her local friends one at a time however is healthy and allows her to feel 'part of'.
Where the line is
Clearly, I've gone for a compromise solution here: a firm stance on not giving them phones at all was no longer workable. They do know my answer on smartphones though: when they can afford one, they can have it. (Which is to say, when they make their own money and can afford both the device and the plan!)
They both have phone numbers now, and email addresses (which I set up for them when they were born); but there is not, and there will not be, any social media or unsupervised Internet access of any kind. They have android tablets which get used maybe once or twice a week, which run educational apps and a couple of purchased, ad-free games which are all apps because there is no browser access.
Of course, Internet access will become important as they grow older and need it for educational purposes, but when that time comes I will purchase a desktop computer which will live in the lounge. Accessible and useable to all, but never private.
Their childhoods are too precious.