Christmas: towards celebrating the Giver over the gifts
Christmas is a big deal. Especially for kids, who will take what they understand as "normal" or "traditional" from their childhood memories! As a couple, Mr and I are from different cultural backgrounds so our family traditions around Christmas are different - hence, from the time my big girl was born, it was clear that we were going to make our own family traditions: traditions with intentions. Our most important intention was and is to instill in the kids an understanding of why we celebrate this holiday (it's Jesus' birthday!), but we also want to give the children that magical joy and pass on (only) those of our cultural traditions which support the main aim.
So, here are a few of our family ways at Christmas, and, importantly, advent - that month of preparation for the big day!
Advent: the month of December
Advent as defined by the church is the month starting four Sundays before the 25th of December. So it can start in November. At the start of advent, the house will be decorated with an advent wreath with four candles on it (one to be lit each Sunday) and all the Christmas decorations, except for the tree - that doesn't appear until the 24th!
- Journey to Jerusalem: there's no Elf on the Shelf in this house, but on the 1st of December the nativity is set up on the mantlepiece and it's missing a few major characters! Joseph, Mary and the donkey haven't arrived yet. They will be found in a different place every morning, on their way to Jerusalem, giving us the opportunity to explain the story of why they were going there.
- St Nicholas: Santa Claus is real to my children in the same way Spiderman is, that is, a fictional character that can be fun to play with. The story of St Nichoas however is part of my upbringing so while I do omit the Krampus (demon who comes to punish the bad children on the 5th of December) we will celebrate St Nicholas' day on the 6th of December by buying a chocolate Santa, eating it, and hearing the story of St Nicholas.
- Advent Calendars: yes, we have a [vegan] chocolate advent calendar for each kid. But there's also the reusable advent calendar that comes out every year, which holds a piece of paper with an activity for the day written on it. Activities include making a Gingerbread house, going to Christmas parties, looking at Christmas lights, taking cards to our neighbours etc. as well as...
- Thank You Visits: every advent since the kids were tiny, we have made a point of visiting places that serve us and saying thank you with a little bag of chocolate for each person there. Such places include the local fire station, police station, our family doctors and dentist; we also put out chocolate and a thank-you card for our bin men and postie. This way, Advent becomes a time to be grateful for those who serve us and in the big picture, being grateful for the One who came to serve.
Christmas: the Day(s)
So, when is Christmas? If you ask me, it's the 24th of December. In this culture however, it's the 25th. So as a blended family, our compromise is - let's do both!
This works beautifully in practice: on the 24th, we have a traditional Christmas in the way I grew up with. On the 25th, we go to the kids' British grandparents, who love having them there to celebrate on the day that matters most to them!
Christmas Eve:
On the 24th, the kids leave the house after breakfast. They have a fun day out - visiting a Christmas market, or just hanging out at the grandparents' house if the weather is bad. They'll usually go to a Christingle service in the afternoon, so they return home when it's dark outside. \ As soon as the kids are gone, Christmas preparations at home get going! With Christmas music going, the grown-ups put up the tree and decorate it [incidentally, our large real tree last year only cost us £2 because we didn't buy it until the 21st!], gifts are packed and placed underneath the tree, the house is cleaned and Christmas dinner prepared. This year we'll have family friends with us, which will make it even more fun!
When the kids return, it is dark and the tree is lit and music is playing softly. The atmosphere is magical. We sing a carol or two, have a hot chocolate, thank Jesus for coming to Earth as the greatest gift ever given, and then we exchange our presents. Usually the kids love to give out the presents so I'll sit at the bottom of the tree, handing them a gift to present to each person - and the kids open their own gifts last, which is their own choice! At some point, we'll move on to dinner and enjoy the evening. Traditionally, Austrians would go to Midnight Mass, which we don't do as the kids are too small; but maybe in future, we might.Christmas Day:
The 25th when I was growing up was a day to get to know your presents, play with them, and have family around or visit others. Here, of course, it's the big event - so we will bundle into our car and go to the grandparents, who have saved their main presents for the kids for this day. Great for the kids: two day of presents! We'll spend the day with the grandparents and enjoy family time.Boxing Day:
Time for a walk with the hound, if weather permits!
I hope this post has given some ideas, it's an insight to how we do Christmas as a family. Mainly what I hope the reader takes away is that you can not only choose the traditions you like and discard the rest, but you can even invent your own traditions and your kids will be able to treasure those as part of their childhood formation. Let's make Christmas about love, which is so much more than presents.