A slower pace of living
We're right in the middle of Lent.
Our days and weeks at the moment are in a comfortable rhythm, with (fewer) regular activities and a really intentional choice not to fill time. To just allow ourselves to be. And it's an adjustment.
As I've been asked before, what do our weeks look like? We don't do nothing, but we're a lot less scheduled than we used to be:
- Mondays: every other Monday we go to the Home Ed Co-Operative, and the other Mondays are 'off' (playdates or bigger all-day outings, like to the beach or the woods)
- Tuesdays: the free day, where we either go out into nature for the day or potter about at home.
- Wednesdays: free mornings of pottering and play, then gymnastics at 2pm and on to the grandparents for the night and the next day.
- Thursdays: Grandparents' day, my working day
- Fridays: free mornings, usually that's when we visit the library; Mr. finishes work at midday and we usually try to have 'special time' with each child (that's when one parent spends special, focused, loving time with one child, and we switch each week)
- Saturdays: swimming lessons in the morning, then family time - going out to cycle, or on walks / exploration
- Sundays: recently instituted as 'the Sabbath' from technology - this will continue after Lent, as a year-round practice. We turn our devices off at dinnertime on Saturday, and they remain off throughout Sunday. (Because emergencies happen, our phones remain on but with all data switched off, so only actual phone calls get through)
This is a rhythm, not a set in stone routine. Things come up occasionally and we if we feel they add value to our lives, we'll do them; but this Lent for me is a time to learn to value non-doing time, which is difficult and new and disorienting at times. The Sabbath, especially, because even when I'm home on other days I often still use the phone to be 'productive' in some way - responding to emails, looking things up etc. but on the Sabbath I can't do that.
I've been reading fiction for the first time in a decade (The No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency, if you were wondering)... N(7) is writing books... D(5) has time and space to tinker with his legos and jump on the trampoline.
A Sabbath from Technology
I've been reading and re-reading "The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry" by John Mark Cromer - in fact I also bought it as an audiobook as well so I could listen and really get that message into my mind and heart! - and that has really revolutionised my thinking. Key takeaway: hurry is incompatible with the spiritual life, with love. When I'm in a hurry, I'm not loving. And when am I in a hurry? When I'm overcommitted.
So we are using this Lent to ruthlessly eliminate commitments - and what will be added back into our lives after Lent remains to be seen. This is a gear change, six weeks of s-l-o-w living (by our standards anyway) to see what that feels like, because we've never experienced it.
And the Sabbath is one practice I've taken straight from the book. The fact is, Sabbath was built into the world from the very start, and rest is something we don't easily choose to do so God had to command it (a bit like commanding ice cream, isn't it - odd that God had to command such a good thing!). So from Saturday evening onwards, 24 hours are dedicated to two things: rest and worship. Worship in the widest sense that is, not just singing songs or going to church (although that is part of it) - worship is also the simple enjoyment of God, of everything He gave us, and the world around us. Drinking it in. Being present to it. Resting in it.
That is hard. Mr. has been finding it hard too. This Sabbath is not a 'day off' in the usual sense, where little projects get tackled, errands are run, life admin is caught up with: these things need to happen on other days. On Sabbaths we are to rest and worship, nothing else.
The truth is, we don't really know what to do with ourselves! I have started reading books. Mr. is reading too, but has ended up doing little jobs (hopefully enjoyable ones!) - part of the transition to being able to just rest, perhaps. Because we also have a lot of off-time built into our weeks now due to Lent, we seem to have a lot of 'just being' time in our lives right now and perhaps it's too much: the pendulum swinging too far that direction. But we're determined to ride it out through Lent, and see what feels right to bring ourselves into a balance at the end of that.
Slowly.