A 12 year old!
Tomorrow is the day: my eldest turns 12. She says she feels 'so mature' now - and so she is, and a delight too! Let me count the ways...
Creative
This girl is a creator. If there's a kind of creativity she hasn't taken to like a duck to water, I don't know what that is. She expresses herself in so many ways and it's beautiful to behold.
Music: having played the guitar for a few years now, she's able to strum and sing along. She's played with others at worship, and on her own in her room. She's also part of the Junior Choir at the Cathedral, which is our parish, where she's getting some serious classical instruction. Our friend Daniel, too, has a background in singing and has offered to give her lessons which she is very enthusiastic about!
Storytelling: she's been creating her own books since she was a preschooler, at the time mostly stick figures with a few words (although you could immediately tell what each stick figure felt like! Which I feel is quite a feat); these days she comes up with fictional graphic novels as well as autobiographical stories, where she works through her thoughts and feelings on different matters. Kind of like a diary, but illustrated!
Art: my surprise birthday gift for her this year was a 3D Pen, which she is currently exploring; but this is a girl who draws, paints, sculpts, creates in wood... whatever media she gets her hands on, she'll make something interesting out of it.
Friend
As she goes towards her teenage years, naturally friends are becoming more important in her life than ever. She has always been a people person, and continues to cultivate a large and diverse circle of friends. We regularly see people in our parish (on Sundays, but also meeting up with families); some of them sing in the choir with her, and others we spend time with at our Marriage Encounter meetings. There's friends at every group and activity she takes part in: Karate, amateur dramatics, the adventure playground, allotmenteering... and also in our road, there are neighbours of similar ages.
It's amazing to watch her not only be a friend, which comes naturally to her, but also learn about the pitfalls and limitations of friendships; right now, she is working through how to set boundaries - when there's a girl at the adventure playground who is trying to boss N around and monopolise her time; or another girl in our road who has decided that N is her friend, but N doesn't actually like her that much. These are the learning experiences she has to work through herself, but it's a privilege to watch her do this and find her way. (She knows she can always blame me, if needs be: 'My mum is strict so I can't come out to play!')
Autonomy
N is a gentle personality, but she's definitely beginning to assert her autonomy. She now has a (dumb) phone with which she keeps in touch with friends, and which she takes with her when going out without us. Generally, N is agreeable to reasonable requests, but she is definitely not above eye rolls and sighs when she feels that's warranted... and in fairness, I sometimes catch myself expecting her to be much more mature than she is. Her general maturity is great, but there are lapses at times and that's totally fine for the age - it just tends to catch me off guard! So I bark orders and tell her off; and I wouldn't enjoy being in her shoes then. So I'm very aware that as she grows, I need to adjust. I need to let her be, to some degree; but also to guide her and be there. The trick is having the wisdom to know what to do when.
Unfortunately for her, she's that guinea pig, that oldest child who has to deal with a mum who doesn't really know what she's doing! But, I try, and I pray. She really is delightful.
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